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HURTING INSIDE

I am not a little girl in a flower dress anymore.

I am a big girl, and I wear big shoes

And sometimes reading glasses.


I am hurting inside

But I go on forward

In this fortress,

In this fortress near Damascus Gate.


I am fighting a battle no one can understand

I am fighting a battle across time and space

I am fighting a war against pride and prejudice,

Against country and birth,

Against demons of hate,

And I am in this fortress,

That was built before I was born.


I chase the darkness away.

I stand in the gap

I stand, and yet I am falling.

But You pick me up again.

You fill my cup again.


There is only One that can cross space and time,

There is only One who is forever mine.

I am fighting this battle no one sees.

I am fighting this battle on my knees

Far away from those I love

Far away

The quiet is like a sword.


The noise of children,

The sounds of barking,

The sounds of my name being called,

"Mommy, mommy,"

I remember, and I long to hear.

But time and space separate me

I feel forgotten,

I feel forgotten.


But tomorrow brings hope that springs to life

That my children will come back home

That my man will find me here and somehow, somewhere, together

We will join in song and dance upon injustice,

For the lives of our children,

For the lives of our children.

We will dance,

We will sing,

We will offer up this cry inside

Until these bones come alive

And all is forgiven, and all is forgotten,

Until our enemies become our friends,

Until our wounds disappear,

And we can hug the one who made us ashamed.

The one who said we would never succeed,

The one who refused to see the good and believe,

That God had placed us here on Earth,

For such a time as this,

For such a place as this,

To breathe hope to those who lost their way,

To breathe life into those who are hanging on by a thread.


Hungry eyes all around

But at times, we feel only our own pain.

Father's Eyes, let me see how You want me to be,

To love the untouchable and to reach the unreachable.

I may be surrounded by this tower,

But you have called me at this hour,

To look past my own pain

By the power of Jesus' name,

And restore the ancient dwelling places

And breathe life into these ancient stones,

So that the church can go on singing a heavenly song,

So that the daughter of Jerusalem can be

Not afraid,

Not ashamed,

Not rejected,

But deeply know You adore

Those who call upon You, Lord.


24/06/2023

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